It's probably no accident that menopause often coincides with children leaving home - maybe that's why they leave.
It isn't really high school graduation or going off to college; it's the crazy woman in the kitchen with the bulging neck veins! But after her kids leave to begin their own lives, and after the hot flashes begin to cool to an occasional smolder, what is this woman up to? Is she knitting booties while wrapped in a shawl watching soaps? Making a recipe box of her son's favorite recipes to give her future (no doubt extremely grateful) daughter-in-law? Making a quilt made from all her kid's old pajamas? (Not that there's anything wrong with that!) But things are different today for a lot of post-menopausal women.
She's not just a grandma anymore! It would be an understatement to say that women in the post-menopausal stage today are not the same as when your grandmother, or even your mother, went through it.
One such woman remarked recently, "My grandmother never even learned how to drive.
All she ever wanted was to be a mother and grandmother and she was great at it! But I wanted, no I needed, something more.
" We have an entire generation of the most educated, highest achieving, vibrant, thinking women in history hitting menopause and beyond right now.
The Boomers have reached grandparenthood! And, like everything else they have done, they will put their all into it, make it successful, help society, and we'll look back and think, "Change is good!" The New Grandmas are changing everything.
They don't dress or act like grandmas.
As observed by writer Jean Kerr, "When the grandmothers of today hear the word 'Chippendales,' they don't necessary think of chairs.
" And it's not just celebrities like Goldie Hawn and Tina Turner who exemplify these changes.
It's the irritatingly rock-solid gray-haired yoga instructor who can out-do women half her age in the class.
It's the sleek woman you see doing laps in the health club pool with the shoulders of Amanda Beards.
It's the laughing women on horseback at an all woman Trail Ride.
It's the dynamo who hands you a paint roller when you show up to volunteer for Habitat.
They're everywhere, they're fit, and they're in charge.
They are also very aware of their sexuality and have no desire to lose it.
While a low libido during menopause was accepted as a sign that the woman's sex life was drawing to a close, boomer women are challenging that notion.
Linda Ryan, founder of http://www.
womeninmenopause.
com has built a thriving business by providing menopausal women with innovative sexual health products.
During this time of life, many women describe a newfound zest.
Where does this zest come from? Most women respond that it's a new sense of freedom.
For some, that means being free from kids, periods, PMS and contraception (hallelujah!).
For others, it's being free from trying so darn hard to be the perfect wife, mother, or boss, and accepting yourself as you are (imagine that!).
And many women simply feel that time's a-wasting, so they better do all the things they've dreamed of doing in their lives! There's a profound freedom these women feel.
One such woman, a retired nurse, described this time as "an odd mix of feeling like on the one hand, I've got nothing to lose, but on the other hand, everything's at stake! It makes me feel really alive!" Some even describe post-menopausal zest as giving birth, but instead of to a baby, they're giving birth to themselves, their creativity, and their talents.
Researchers describe this stage in differing ways, but with similar sentiment.
Lydia Bronte, a leader in humanistic gerontology, identified the ages of 50 - 75 as a second middle age, the first one occurring between 35 and 50.
Gail Sheehy, in her book, New Passages, calls the ages from 30 - 45 your first adulthood, and the ages of 45 - 85+ your second adulthood.
In our world today, you can certainly see women reinventing themselves during this second stage, and they do it by defining what really matters to them, and aligning their pursuits to those values.
Sheehy refers to it as the "age of integrity.
" We used to refer to middle age as the peak time of productivity, but that's not as true as it once was.
With middle age lasting longer, and people over 50 starting a new middle age, a person's productivity over a lifetime is greatly increased.
Researchers see multiple careers as a natural phenomenon resulting from people living longer, and having diverse interests and education.
There are struggles along the way, however.
Any time you court change, you will find your old patterns and habits brought to the foreground for questioning.
Some will end up being put away for life, others may be allowed out on parole.
It's part of the alchemy of aging.
Burning up the old, to transform into the new! If you would like the FREE ebook from which this article is taken, send an email to: paulaannestark@yahoo.
com with "free ebook" in the subject line.