Focus on the Issue at Hand

• 1). Stay focused on the present. While it can be tempting to bring up issues from previous arguments that seem relevant to the current one, it is important to stay on topic and avoid rehashing events from the past. This often confuses the issue and creates resentment from the other party, hindering any chance of resolving the present conflict. According to Helpguide.org, "If you're holding on to old hurts and resentments, your ability to see the reality of the current situation will be impaired. Rather than looking to the past and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the here-and-now to solve the problem."
  
  
• 2). Listen carefully to what the other person has to say. In all conflicts, what people want most of all is to feel heard. By showing that you have heard what the other party is saying, you can better resolve the problem than if you are preoccupied with how you will respond after they have finished. Hodu.com says, "When people get a chance to say what is on their mind, they experience what psychologists call catharsis or cleansing. This cleansing helps to lower emotional energy and pave the way for a more productive dialogue." The best part of this technique is that it serves to diffuse some of the anger that is coming your way and makes finding a solution to the problem much easier.
  
  
• 3). Accept responsibility for your part in the conflict. Concede that it usually takes two people to create conflict in a relationship. Make an honest effort to examine what you might have said or done to contribute to the problem and offer to say you're sorry when you think the situation warrants doing so. If apologizing for your actions is going to foster understanding and allow conflict to dissipate, then it is definitely worth the effort. Instead of making you appear weak, it can actually cause the other party to gain respect for you and encourage them to look at their own part in the conflict.
  
  
• 4). Work toward finding a compromise. The main goal of communication during conflict should always be trying to find a solution to the discord. Strive to find solutions that will please all parties involved instead of trying to "win" the argument. Often a sense of humor, as long as it is not at the other party's expense, can make this process smoother and bring about resolution more quickly.