- 1). Acknowledge your spouse's emotions by lending her a sympathetic ear. You can't ignore the fact that she is chronically ill and that the illness is difficult for her. She may need to vent, and as a supportive spouse, she will appreciate it if you listen to her.
- 2). Construct personal boundaries when your spouse's emotions begin to take a toll on you. The intensity, frequency and direction of your spouse's emotions may become overwhelming. If you feel that you have listened enough for a while, state that you truly care but that you need a break. If his emotional expressions are directed at you through no fault of your own, explain that you do not assume responsibility for his emotions and do not deserve to be targeted. You may need to go for a walk or drive or get away for a longer period of time in order to refresh yourself.
- 3). Care for yourself physically and mentally. Dealing with chronic illness is difficult for both spouses. You cannot help your spouse deal with her emotions concerning her illness if you are drained. Get enough sleep, exercise and eat a healthy, balanced diet. Visit your doctor for checkups or for health concerns. Make time to relax and to do things that you enjoy.
- 4). Surround yourself with supportive people. Chronically ill spouses often lash out at their partners due to their own unbalanced emotions. Maintaining healthy relationships with others is a way to gain the support and help that you need during this time. You may even consider joining a support group for caregivers at a hospital or community center.
- 5). Remember that you can't always take emotional reactions from your spouse personally. You may be doing everything in your power to be a supportive spouse. Even if an emotional outburst stings initially, remind yourself that you are not at fault and that the illness is the culprit. Your spouse may love you just as much as he ever did, but may be so physically and emotionally taxed that he cannot always handle his emotions in positive ways.
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