If you want tips on affair recovery for your relationship, read Samantha's story and see if you can relate at all: "My husband and I have been working at rebuilding our marriage for months now," said Samantha.
"But the thing I'm having the hardest time with right now is dealing with all the painful memories from those dark times in our marriage.
I'm trying everything I can, but those memories just won't stop.
I wish there was a way to hit a 'delete' button in my brain so I can get rid of these memories once and for all...
" Like Samantha, you too, may feel like you barely survived what is without question one of the worst times of your life.
And if you're reading this for affair recovery help, then congrats! You're taking the first step.
It means you're willing to look at your options, and even though things were horrible, you've survived it all.
Yes, you may be scratched and bruised up, but you got through the initial shock.
But the hard part now is dealing with all those memories and thoughts that linger.
And if you're going to have a successful affair recovery and save your marriage, it's highly important that you let go of those ugly things floating around in your head.
After the affair, you may have been wondering things like: "What on earth could I have done differently?" "How could I not see what was going on with that other woman?" "Did he really have a good time with this two-timing woman?" "Maybe I should have married someone else? Am I a bad judge of character?" No doubt, there's a LOT of baggage that comes with the memories that linger after the affair.
And for a successful affair recovery, dealing with them effectively is your first priority (aside from working things out with your husband, of course!) Here's what you should do: Affair recovery tip #1 - Stop resisting.
Ever heard the cliché, "What you resist, persists?" Well, it's absolutely true.
And the more you try and repress those disturbing memories from the affair, it's important that you let them take their course.
Let them be.
Don't try and fight them.
Instead, just observe them.
Think to yourself, "There goes my silly mind again, thinking those thoughts.
Oh well," then carry on with whatever you were doing.
Affair recovery tip #2 -- Explore the emotions.
Whenever one of those memories crosses your mind and you allow them to, it's time to lessen their hold on you.
You do this by becoming aware of how these memories make you feel.
Explore the emotions that come up.
Is it anger? Sadness? Embarrassment? Whatever it is, be okay with it.
The more you do this process, the less the memories will impact you.
Affair recovery tip #3 - Reframe your memory Here's where you start putting a positive spin on your memories.
Now that you've allowed them and analyzed emotions that come with them, it's time to change the story.
So instead of seeing the memory as this huge and bad thing, think to yourself, "What's the gift in this?" I know, it'll be hard at first.
But ask this question repeatedly every time a memory comes up for you.
Soon enough, you'll start seeing the positive that can come from the relationship.
It'll clue you in to ways that you can speed up the affair recovery in the relationship.