Holy cowabunga is this a touchy subject. Well, to prove to you this is important I'm going to do something a bit unorthodox in this post. At the end I'm going to list every one of the fears I faced, regardless of how ridiculous they were, that held me back from success in MLM. I highly recommend you find a mentor that you can confide in and uncover the fears that pertain to you. It is very likely you are not moving forward because of them. Only until you acknowledge what your fears are will you be able to break through that success barrier.

One of the most frustrating objections (fears) I've ever heard in this industry is €what would my friends think?€ Or sometimes put another way: €my friends wouldn't want to do it.€ Seriously? For all network marketers out there reading this I will just say one thing: sad. Hold the applause. I know it's a bit rough to say, but sometimes I'm blunt to get the point across. My most memorable experience was with a waiter years back at P.F. Changs. The guy was 6' tall, cleanly shaven, well-spoken, and taught private pilot lessons. He was made of iron, with one exception: he was afraid of what his friends thought. His response to my inquiry about making money outside of his current income sources went something like this:

Waiter: €Do you have to talk to your friends?€

Me: €I would recommend it, but it's not necessary.€

Waiter: €I'm just not interested, they'll find out what I'm doing and then it will change the dynamic of our relationship.€

I have to admit, it was the most honest explanation ever given to me with regards to being afraid. And it's obvious he was going to say €no€ either way. I mean he basically told me €I'm so scared I'd soil myself€ without saying it. My first thought was: Are you freaking kidding me? Are your friendships so weak that they would crumble under the proposition of a simple business relationship? But then I thought well, I did lose my friends so maybe there's something to it. Finally, years later I realized something; why the N.F.L. (No Friends Left) phenomenon actually occurs. When the subject of making money and getting started come up it usually involves spending a little money first. Unfortunately for us men, the pride and ego shield all logic and reason to protect us from having others discover our weaknesses; aka how broke some (or most) of us are. That's where I was anyway with making the decision to get started.

To understand how to handle this we first have to dissect the concept of fear. Did you know as babies we are only born with two fears? Yup, it's true. All we know the day we're born is that we're afraid of falling, and that we're afraid of loud noises. Every other fear we presently have is LEARNED. The reason this is so important is because if it was learned, it can be UNLEARNED. This means that if you're made of jelly and nervous about talking to and potentially losing your friends (who don't pay your bills or put food on your table by the way), you can overcome those feelings. In fact, you don't have to lose your friends at all with regards to this industry, provided you approach them the right way. Jim Rohn has an old training where he suggests telling your friends you want them to look at it so if things turn out great, then a year later they can't come back and ask €why didn't you tell me about it?€ He also adds: I don't even care if you buy or join. I'm getting 3 out of 10 people and I don't mind if you're one of the seven. I've always loved that approach, even though it's training from years back.

I can fortunately say this friendship-based fear did not hold me back. In fact, like I mentioned I was part of the NFL club in MLM - No Friends Left. It's not a big deal though, I learned the hard way. Oh yeah, and I made more friends, imagine that. Most people however, don't want to lose their friends and this fear will absolutely PARALYZE them, even if it hypothetically (or literally) means bankruptcy.

I like to think of fear as F.E.A.R., or False Evidence Appearing Real. It's not really there, but it is. It forces people to not take action (the money killer). The only real solution for overcoming these fears is taking action against them over and over again. Read Chapter 3 of The Magic of Thinking Big and you'll see the emphasis on how action cures fear. In other words, if you have a fear of public speaking guess what, there's only one solution; to do it until it hurts no more. Bigger, tougher, faster, stronger, right? Sorry, but I didn't make the rules. Ok, before I go I said I'd leave you with the list of things that held me back, so here they are.

I was:

1. Afraid to talk to strangers about my opportunity. Once I broke this down I realized it was primarily because I did not believe in the training system I was using, and that I had no ownership in a marketing platform that was mine.
2. Afraid of success. I was scared to lead people because I was afraid I would fail them.
3. Afraid of people I worked with finding out about my MLM secret and judging me.
4. Afraid of changing to achieve success and losing certain people in my life because of it.
5. Afraid of quitting my job, succeeding for a few years, and then losing my organization only to have lost years of retirement in the work force.

Fortunately I did not have a fear of public speaking since it was my day job, but I'm sure that would be up there if my career path had been different. I want to encourage you as well to move forward, and from the bottom of my heart that if I was able to overcome these fears, so can you.

To Your Trials & Success
Jason Lee