We all know the job market sucks.
Those of us who have jobs are grateful.
But we're also bitter.
We're not angels.
We have bosses and co-workers who annoy the hell out of us with their repulsive habits.
We don't complain for fear of losing our jobs, which are already hanging by a thread.
Those of us who have lost our jobs are beyond bitter.
When we see our former company's stock drop below the price of a pack of gum, we cheer.
So, if you get laid off, you'd like to see some justice.
Creative justice.
Here's a suggestion from Office Avenger: Don't you hate it when...
The top executives in your company get more benefits upon being booted from their jobs than you'll ever receive in your entire career.
Their golden parachutes include a few million bucks each year for not working for the company, plus free medical coverage, lifetime corporate jet and country club privileges, and a few other goodies.
When you get laid off, after years of hard work and dedication, your "package" includes pay until the end of the week (which is why most layoffs occur on Friday) and however many pens and pencils you can stuff in your pockets before being whisked out of the building.
What a lead balloon.
Kerplunk! Wouldn't you love to...
Have "one-size-fits-all" severance packages mandated by law.
If any employee is laid off due to downsizing, restructuring or any other depravity of the workplace (and through no fault of the employee) he or she is entitled to one-year's pay: the annual pay of the CEO.
Each laid-off employee also gets to play five minutes of "Supermarket Sweep" through the office, where he or she runs around filling up bags with as many supplies, laptops and artwork as can be grabbed within the time limit.
Top executives are exempt from this benefit, since stealing was a regular part of their jobs.