With all the relationships failures that I seen dealing with a breakup was not an easy process of any of them, man or woman! In actuality, many of the individuals that I comforted as the breakup was going down did some rather bizarre unproductive and unhealthy actions in response to it.

Without question there are healthy and restorative methods of dealing with a breakup that have the ability to start to reduce pain and bring clarity to your mind within days and sometimes hours!

After the initial shock-wave of the breakup; from the moment you hear those terrible words, "it's over"; do not go ballistic. Slow down and calmly ask the questions "Specifically, what is the reason for this?" or "Help me to understand, what is really going on here?" Share with that person that you can handle it a whole lot better, if they just are straight up and straight talking with you!

Once they give their reason, regardless of if it makes sense in your mind; ACCEPT what they have told you. Move On! Do not argue, do not bicker, do not say that is stupid, do not say, but you told me you loved me last night! These are ALL useless! Burn the concept of acceptance into your head.

1.> Go to a place of peace, calm and quiet. Allow yourself plenty of cry time. Cry, cry and cry some more! If you feel like you need support at this time, call up your best friend or friends. It could even be a parent who you can really relate to.

2.> Avoid alcohol, drugs, and all mind-altering agents, because they can actually work against you. They could artificially induce a hyper state of anxiety and distort your reality causing you to do something really regrettable.

3.> Kill the love songs! They can be very toxic to you at this time. They only serve to stir up your emotions causing you to fall back into misery and despair. This is not a good strategy for dealing with a breakup at any time!

4.> Grab a fresh notebook; write out your thoughts and feelings with times and dates. Do not write a novel about what has taken place. Do not dwell or over analyze what happened!

5.> Immediately start working the concept in your head of helping someone. I am talking about a senior citizen, a special needs child, a youth in trouble; basically somebody who has a life that looks like it really stinks! Then, within the next 72 hours go and help them!

So, what is happening here? Every single step that you take here helps you in dealing with a breakup by releasing pent up negative energy and emotions that were out of control.

You have now taken definitive and very deliberately positive actions that have allowed you a way to stabilize yourself and start to ease the pain and suffering of your broken heart.

Helping the person who is in need is the biggie! This compels you to think about someone else and to help them find solutions to their challenges. The bonus is that you start to heal from it almost immediately!

Believe me; helping others can bring swift healing results! Dealing with a breakup will either bring about the greatness inside you or beat you down into nothingness!

The exciting and encouraging part about all of this is that YOU have the power to choose which outcome it will be.

From the grandstands of life I will be calling your name and cheering for you to be great!