"When I get sad I stop being sad and start being awesome instead. True story" - Barney Stinson
If it was so easy..
After a breakup we often feel like, literally, our heart is broken and can never be fixed, especially after a long and sturdy relationship. My work is in helping people to "fix" their inner life and get their feelings in order to restart living as it is meant to be.
We all have the craving in this situation to feel better quickly. Even though it is not possible to wake up tomorrow and be over it, there are ways to accelerate it.
In this article I'm showing a small fraction of the arsenal of tools which are available to you.
First things first: Try to stay away from your ex. You always have the option to get back together with him but your first interest right now has to be to fix your broken heart. For this you need time to heal and seeing him will only prolong the process. Get rid of everything that reminds you of him, pictures, clothes, you name it. Maybe start a little bonfire and burn everything, that's actually a lot of fun. If this is too harsh for your situation put them in a box and let a friend stow them at her house.
The main thing is: get him out of your head.
Start a diary: Research has shown that writing down your inner life every day helps tremendously in sorting out your inner life. By writing you automatically put things in an order which probably didn't exist in your head before. Buy yourself a nice moleskine and start the habit of jotting down your thoughts for ten minutes before going to bed.
Reconnect: In the course of a serious relationship we often lose contact with people we had a beautiful connection with because we spend so much time with our significant other. It may be your sister, a friend from college or yoga class you lost sight of. Go through your facebook friends list and just drop a line to ten or twenty people. You'll be amazed at how many have been thinking about you but just didn't want to pester you. Meet them for lunch or do some fun activities together and you'll start to gradually feel awesome again.
Embrace being single: Feeling great about being single is probably the furthest thing on your mind right now. Anyway, think about all the activities you weren't able to do while in the relationship. Maybe you really wanted to travel to Mount Kilimanjaro or enjoy the good life in California ( Try out couchsurfing.com instead of hotels). Now is the perfect opportunity to do it.
Remember: Nothing lasts forever, neither the joy of a fresh relationship nor the seemingly life-shattering depression after a breakup. Nobody can fix a broken heart alone and noone has to. Leverage your friends and family, remember to start the diary and soon in the not so distant future, life is good again. Sometimes we just need someone to remind us of this.
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