A hard thing about being a step parent is the fact that your power and control only go so far.
With my own child I know what I can do to resolve a situation.
With the step kids there are always other factors to keep in mind.
In many cases you have to discuss discipline with their dad and you may not be on the same page.
Likewise the biological mother may not always agree with how you deal with a situation pertaining to her kids.
Unfortunately to some extent she does have a say in the rules you create, even in your own home.
My step kids had a habit of throwing themselves on the ground when asked to do a chore, my husband and I agreed this was unacceptable behavior which needed to be changed.
We enforced a new rule, when you act this way you are showing us that you need time to collect your emotions.
Therefore you will get to do this in time out.
Well my step kids told their mom that they were always being put in time out for no reason.
I had to explain to her the new house rule that if someone has a temper tantrum they serve time.
It's never fun having to justify your house rules to someone else.
You as an outsider bring a new perspective to the situation.
As most of us can be blind to our own children's faults you may observe behavior that the parents did not see.
In most cases the behavior you find inappropriate may be one that their parents had previous allowed.
Pointing it out can cause pandemonium and end up leaving you feeling like the bad guy.
No parent wants to hear that their child is not perfect and it's just as hard having to tell your spouse that their child needs work.
Being on the opposite side and having your spouse pointing out flaws in your own child is no walk in the park either.
The situation can make you feel as if your spending time explaining and justifying even your littlest actions: whereas with your own kids you can pull the time honored "because I said so".
The good news is that it gets better with time.
You and your spouse learn to communicate and once the ground rules are set in place and expectations are made known things will begin to flow.