There are times that I thought it would be great if you're around. Be my shoulder during shitty times, someone who could tell me how stupid Iam whenever I do mistakes, laugh with my jokes or someone who would even pretend to listen to things I say just to keep me company. Someone who would wipe my forehead with a towel soaked in lukewarm water whenever I don't feel good.

All my life I've been wondering, asking and observing everyone around me how does it feel like to have a mom? I cant really figure out why God took my mom so early. I was 4 back then. I was just starting to talk straight. But I never blamed God or anyone, Im just having a hard time figuring why. I remember one time when I was 4, I was playing in the backyard and i fell off my bike. My mom saw me but I was not crying at. I stared at her and she smiled. She asked me to come to her so that she could replace my dirty shirt. I sat on a cheap memory foam mattress where I stare at my hands putting weight on the memory foam. As the foam recovers to its original form I suddenly cried and told her that I want her to be like the memory foam that can recover even after a great amount of weight is exerted. She was already suffering from lung cancer by that time. She smiled and told me that whatever happens she will always be my memory foam whom I can lean on and someone who will always be there to help me recover from life's trials.

Every time I hear people complaining and cursing about their parents because of foolish reasons I always tell them that they are so lucky to have a mother who cares for them and yet they took it for granted. People will only realize the value of something after they lost it. I guess there are things in life that are just too complicated that we don't have to understand it. Its just the way it is. We just have to move on and go with the flow. We just have to trust God because He always has a plan, He's just making sure if we're ready for it. Today, Iam still thankful for what I've become because I always knew that my mom was always there for me every time I'm in trouble or unwell.