Pick The Right Place

• Long-term relationships are best ended on neutral territory and in person. It is disrespectful to end a serious relationship via email, a text message or even a phone call. Ending a relationship in a special place both parties spent a lot of time in is also inadvisable as it could tarnish the good memories they had there. Breaking up in someone's home also makes it harder for them to leave if they need alone time and don't want to talk.
  
  

Talk Openly

• Open dialogue is key to every aspect of a relationship, including the end. Perhaps being open is why the relationship fell apart in the first place, but with the relationship ending most people feel like there are fewer barriers to being honest and potentially telling the other person something they did not want to hear. Regardless of what is said, talking about why things did not work out is the best way to self-assess, identify how you can improve or help both parties understand what they really want in a relationship.
  
  

Be Respectfully Analytical

• It may seem cold, but identifying and discussing the specific reasons for breaking up can help the self-assessment process and prevent a couple from getting back together for the wrong reasons. Analyzing what worked and what didn't in a relationship can also help people stop themselves from making the same mistakes in the future. This process can also make the breakup seem like it was natural and meant to happen.
  
  

Deconstruct

• When a couple is together for a long time, they develop habits and ways of treating each other. Sometimes couples will not talk about problem subjects or will sugarcoat things to avoid conflict. Deconstructing these habits when a relationship is ending will help both parties identify any unhealthy dynamics that existed in the relationship. For example, if one person avoided talking about their feelings out of fear of what the other would say, recognizing and expressing this will help both parties realize where things went wrong. This allows them to end the relationship with more certainty and understanding.
  
  

Be Honorable Instead of Strategic

• A couple thinking about "winning" or "losing" when ending a long-term relationship could end up hurting themselves more than they need to. Focusing on what went wrong and talking about it will be more beneficial than trying to be the one who broke up with the other person. To end a long-term relationship effectively, the breakup should be approached as a way to get both people the things they really want in a relationship.