My adventure started more as a desire for pen-pals from China.
In the late 70's,when my family had a couple from Taiwan live with us, one of the memories I've always carried from that time, was them telling me "if you ever have the opportunity, go to visit China".
I thought, maybe, just maybe, if I was chatting with someone that I was interested in, I would get an opportunity to visit China.
I've always thought Asian women were beautiful, but I, in the past, always dated blonds and never thought I would marry an Asian woman.
As I was meeting different women from China, and chatting with them, I found myself truly amazed at the way they thought.
Family first, everything is "no problem".
This line of thinking really got me interested, and I found myself actually contemplating having a real relationship, if I really clicked with someone.
There were two women that I spoke with early on that I found myself enjoying talking to.
One however, was just too young for me to consider, the other started telling me how much she loved me, and that just didn't sit well with me (after only a month or two of e-mail).
At this point, I started second guessing my decision to pursue this.
Then in January 2007, I got the e-mail that would change my life! Xiuwen and I met through chnlove.
com, after the third e-mail, we were done with them.
She told me, in an e-mail sent via yahoo, the female side of the matchmaking side of things in China.
Very expensive, and very high pressure.
Now, I don't have any problem with companies utilizing the market to make money, but these guys truly exploit their clients and charge rates that there is no way they can afford.
It's really quite a slimy business.
However, it's a business that I owe my family to.
Strange how things work out.
Yeah, communication barriers, there was one or two! Xiuwen, when we met had VERY limited English skills, I on the other hand, had no Chinese linguistic training.
After we eliminated the dating service, we used translation software to read and write letters to each other.
After a few months of e-mail, we began using yahoo video chat to communicate.
In the early stages, it was mostly just to see each other and type and translate to chat.
As time went on, communication improved and simple chatting started.
I think in July, we were chatting several times a week via the video chat, and then moved to daily chats.
In August of that year, Xiuwen went to have some surgery done, it was during this time, that I found myself very concerned for her.
A few days later, her sister told me everything was OK and she would be back in a few days, I decided it was time to make a decision.
Two months later, while chatting with Xiuwen, I booked my ticket.
Ten months after that first e-mail, and two years after starting to chat with Chinese women, I was going to China! One of the barriers we needed to overcome was our communication issues.
I told her that I knew a person in Nanning that could translate for us, however, Xiuwen wasn't going to have it.
Turned out, her sister speaks fluent English.
She would be the person that would help us.
Xiuwen also found a hand held translator that she bought for us to use.
It worked great and her sister was wonderful in her help.
I couldn't have been more fortunate.
However, as you know, when one decides to go to China, at some point, they will be on their own.
It really takes an adventurous spirit to make a journey like this.
Our communication barriers were worked out and things went well.
I knew that I would marry her on February 13, 2008, the day I landed in Nanning.
She was the same person I was chatting with for the past year, she looked the same, was as gentile and sincere as I imagined.
I think it's important to mention at this point, prior to going this route, I had dated, what I figure to be, more then 100 American women.
I was involved in several serious and some long-term relationships.
Meeting women for me was never a problem.
I'm not a shy person, I've never had a problem meeting a woman or asking for a date.
I was tired of the materialistic attitude I kept getting.
Now this is a generalization, and not all the women I dated believed money is the end all.
Some dated me when I made next to nothing and really struggled.
This generalization is made about Western women due to a few of the true horror stories I've got.
Part two coming soon...