There's nothing more disheartening than seeing a child struggle with the kind of extreme difficulties that would challenge even the toughest adult.
When we observe struggling teens trying to handle tough emotional, behavioral, or psychological issues, our hearts go out to them.
We find ourselves wondering what can be done to help them.
Obviously, there is no cookie cutter solution.
Every situation is individualized and what may work in one instance may not produce results in another.
At the same time, there area some guiding principles that generally lead to the kind of actions that really do lead to progress for struggling teens.
Let's examine a few of those principles.
First, we must remember that our focus should be on root causes of the problems, not on their symptoms.
It's natural to react to aberrant behavior by trying to change the behavior via the application of external pressure.
That instinct is misguided, though.
The problems these teenagers face stem from deeper problems that must be addressed in conjunction with the behavior itself.
It's important to look for, and to resolve, the root causes of the problems the kids are facing.
Second, we need to approach struggling teens with a modicum of respect.
While still not adults, these kids are individuals and deserve to be treated that way.
Some degree of paternalism in helping them isn't just understandable, its essential.
However, that must be balanced with respect for their feelings and thoughts.
We can't dismiss the sentiments of those who are suffering if we hope to help them.
Third, we should be sure that we're being guided by love as we work with struggling teens.
Approaches from other directions rarely work as well.
People can sense our motivations and if we're trying to solve a problem because it somehow inconveniences us, that won't go over nearly as well as if we genuinely have the sufferer's best interests at heart.
Fourth, we need to be brutally honest when dealing with struggling teens.
That's not only part of the aforementioned need for respect, it has additional pragmatic value.
When we're willing to stare at the uncomfortable truths associated with the root causes of the problems, we're more likely to find resolution.
It requires courage on the part of the adults dealing with the troubled teenagers to confront the way they may fit into the problem and to recognize errors they may have made along the way.
It can be uncomfortable, but it's absolutely necessary.
These are four of the principles we should use when devising strategies to aid struggling teens.
Any approach based with these four cornerstones in place will have a much stronger chance of producing the desired results than one that does not.