Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

Lost Respect in Relationships

    What is Respect?

    • Respect is a sense of admiration for a person's qualities, achievements and skills. Respecting someone means that you have confidence in his capabilities and can trust that when you need someone to have your back, he will be up to the task. Respect is also acknowledging another person's personal boundaries and not merely tolerating, but honoring and even loving the differences between you.

    Respect In a Relationship

    • According to Dr. David Edgerly, one of the most common things that comes up in relationship counseling is the matter of respect. According to Edgerly, many people have the misconception that in order for a relationship to work, one party has to give in to the other. Just shut up and nod to keep the other person happy. This is not respect. When two people respect each other, they see one another as equals, not in every aspect, but as complete human beings. Losing respect in a relationship causes resentment, which leads to conflict. Without respect there will be no discussion, because neither side believes the other knows what she is talking about. This will inevitably lead to divorce or separation.

    Causes of Lost Respect

    • When one person begins to feel superior to the other, he no longer sees the other as a worthy partner. Likewise, someone treated with no respect will begin to resent his partner. This can create a cycle of disrespect and resentment that is difficult to escape from. Confidence and trustworthiness are also tied heavily into respect between partners. The exact causes for someone losing respect in his partner are based on the qualities of the relationship and the individuals. Someone who holds economic stability in high esteem would likely lose respect for a spouse that lost his savings in a pyramid scheme. Someone who values loyalty would lose respect for a partner that had an affair.

    Self Respect

    • As stated before, a relationship should be a coming together of equals in life and love. In order to be the kind of person that commands respect, you must respect yourself. With self-respect, you are less likely to set aside your most deeply held opinions and convictions, or at least aren't willing to do so without good reason or without expressing your feelings on the matter. A healthy relationship is one that nurtures your individuality while supplementing it with the qualities of your partner. Stand up for yourself and have confidence in your own abilities. If the relationship is right, your partner will respect you for it.

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